The things I want to tell my daughter as she goes down the ‘Road of Life’ are endless; things that were passed on to me by my mother and things that life taught me. Among all these things I want to teach her never to take people and relationships for granted. Relationships are like the air we breathe, the water we drink and the ground that we stand firmly on. Relationships give meaning to our lives. And these relationships are very delicate and should be handled with utmost care, passion and compassion; once broken can be mended but cracks will always be there.
‘People come and go, they never stay
Like the water flows and moves her way
But the ripples caused once in a while
Make a significant difference in our lives’
The small pebbles lying on the river bed are like the uncountable people we meet in our lives and the ripples caused by these benign pebbles can be rhetoric with the relationships that we build with these people. Relationships which help us survive as a social animal; relationships which help us salvage the troubling times in our lives. Why people and relationships should be important in my daughter’s life can be summarised in the following five lessons from my life:
- Relationships make us feel wanted
Have you ever thought what is the most important thing people need in their lives? Is it money? No. Is it achievements? No. Is it recognition? No. Then what is it that we all need to survive in this socialistic framework? What is the thing that is biggest of all and which reduces all the materialistic pleasures to peanuts? It is love. Yes we all need to love and be loved. Unfortunately, in this materialistic world we are so obsessed with other things that we forget how beautiful it is to love and be loved. But don not let this happen to you. Love is a wonderful feeling so love others and be loved. A humble phone call wishing someone happy birthday can go a long way than buying expensive gifts. Get a taste of love. And how do you do that? Through relationships. Nurturing relationships is the only way. There is no better way you can love and be loved but through relationships.
- Relationships is the source of life’s greatest joy
The inseparable part of any relationship is giving. In fact, I believe that there is no genuine relationship without giving. Whether it is giving your time, or your attention, or money, or just a candid smile, genuine relationship is all about giving. It is all about giving a human touch. And believe it or not, there is immense joy in giving. More often than not we are so indulged in thinking only about ourselves that we forget about the joy of giving. Treat a poor, hungry child with the sandwich you just bought from the store or donate some money when a natural disaster has struck a nation, the contentment ad the happiness that you will feel in this giving is priceless; something that money can never buy. Life is wonderful when we are thinking about others and not just ourselves.
3. Relationship help you sail through troubled times
When we are going through difficult times, we need other people to support us. No one can take care of everything by himself. When the world looks dark and the problem looks big, nothing is more valuable than the support of people we love. Being surrounded and supported by people whom we love and who love us help us get through the darkest phase. They encourage us to go through and not hang up our boots, they assist us and guide us in our times of trouble, and they are always willing to share the burden with us. The journey will become much easier if we make the journey with people who matter in our lives. If we do not have the support of our loved ones then slipping deep into the darkness and getting lost in it is the greatest possibility.
4. Relationships help in building trust
Imagine you want to buy a TV and you are unable to decide which is the best one for you. And then suddenly you remember your friend Matt who is a tech geek. You trust his judgement and recommendation completely on any electronic gadget and equipment. So you give him a call and he tells you to go for a certain product. You are walking down the lane to the nearest shop and there is this stranger who comes to you and says that go for another product than the one Matt advised you on. Which advice will you listen more, the one from someone you don’t really know, or the one from someone you know and trust? Of course the latter. We appreciate the people we love and trust more than anyone else. Their words sink deep into our hearts, and not just our minds. We value their thoughts and their opinions. That’s why the most effective way to have a lasting impact on others is by building relationships with them. Be their friend and care about them, and I’m sure they in turn will listen to you and respect your opinions.
5. At the end relationships are the only things that matter
Imagine you have everything that you could possibly ask for in your life, money, name, fame, awards, achievements. Yet you are the only person living in your mansion. When you walk down on the sand beach, the only footprints that you see are yours. No one to share your happiness, no one to share your pain.
When people are dying they do not think about their achievements and awards. They don’t care whether they are rich or famous. All the materialistic pleasures that we keep seeking life-long suddenly become meaningless. All they want is having the people they love around them; all they want is the warmth of love to be with them in their last moments. Nothing else matters. They realize that, eventually, relationships are the only things that matter. Relationships are the greatest asset that you can give yourself; the greatest of all gifts; the greatest of all worldly pleasures which can only grow, prosper and increase its value with every passing day. Cherish each and every relationship and nourish them too. The more you cherish the more you will nourish; and the more you nourish the stronger they will become.
Lastly I will end this ‘lesson of life’ with the quote:
“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
—Brene Brown
This post is being written for the #MomsforaBetterWorld Project by Women’s Web team
http://www.womensweb.in/2015/05/momsforabetterworld-blogger-contest/
Jyotishree Mohanty 